Pull The Ladder Up Bruce

Some call it Australia Day. Others, Invasion Day. For me, it’s January 26th – a public holiday and a welcome break from the daily grind. Australians woke to the news that their prime minister had awarded Prince Philip a knighthood - and by bestowing this colonial trinket on a pointless prince had implied that no…

Ocean Drive

The anniversary of my 4th decade on the earth gave the old girl an excuse to fly out for a visit. Fancy man in tow. My end of the bargain was to assume the role of tour-guide-slash-driver for a road trip round Victoria. #1 Phillip Island and the Mornington Peninsula The locals bang on about the penguins at Phillip…

Cash on the Hip

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a footballer (well, and a gangster - but that's another story). I'd have been in with shout, but lager and birds sabotaged my crack at the top flight and I settled for that kick-about between two skinfuls - the Sunday League. Injuries were…

10 Years a Slave

Approaching 30 and birdless: "I stopped looking for a dream girl. I just wanted one that wasn't a nightmare." - Charles Bukowski As luck would have it, one turned up anyway - and it wasn't long before we were shacked up and due to get spliced. From day 1 it was obvious she was gonna…

Back in the Game

This time last year I was looking out of my Canary Wharf window thinking: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller It’s good advice, but after 277 "days off" it was time to put some bunce back in the old…