Public Enemy No. 1 

Writing Never Mind The Jollop was an attempt to exorcise my pandemic frustrations. It was working. Until the deportation of Novak Djokovic from Australia sucked me back in and had me questioning my affection for the country I used to call home. My biggest beef with the pandemic response is the erosion of civil liberties.… Continue reading Public Enemy No. 1 

Music From The Motherland

Recently, I discovered something laying dormant inside my mobile blower... Podcasts. More precisely, Desert Island Discs. There are hundreds of 'em - and many are my cultural counterparts; from Gallagher and Brand, to Weller, Winstone and whispering Bob. If you're unfamiliar with the format. Guests (or "castaways") get to choose 8 songs (or "discs") to take with… Continue reading Music From The Motherland

Van Diemen’s Land

First I heard of Van Diemen’s Land was back in the 80s when my Walkman was partial to a bit of Rattle & Hum*. Little did I know, it was real place that one day would be on my doorstep. Nowadays it’s an Australian state called Tasmania. We fly to Hobart and make a long weekend of… Continue reading Van Diemen’s Land

Pull The Ladder Up Bruce

Some call it Australia Day. Others, Invasion Day. For me, it’s January 26th – a public holiday and a welcome break from the daily grind. Australians woke to the news that their prime minister had awarded Prince Philip a knighthood - and by bestowing this colonial trinket on a pointless prince had implied that no… Continue reading Pull The Ladder Up Bruce

Ocean Drive

The anniversary of my 4th decade on the earth gave the old girl an excuse to fly out for a visit. Fancy man in tow. My end of the bargain was to assume the role of tour-guide-slash-driver for a road trip round Victoria. #1 Phillip Island and the Mornington Peninsula The locals bang on about the penguins at Phillip… Continue reading Ocean Drive

Cash on the Hip

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a footballer (well, and a gangster - but that's another story). I'd have been in with shout, but lager and birds sabotaged my crack at the top flight and I settled for that kick-about between two skinfuls - the Sunday League. Injuries were… Continue reading Cash on the Hip

10 Years a Slave

Point Nepean National Park - Portsea, Mornington Peninsula

Approaching 30 and birdless: "I stopped looking for a dream girl. I just wanted one that wasn't a nightmare." - Charles Bukowski As luck would have it, one turned up anyway - and it wasn't long before we were shacked up and due to get spliced. From day 1 it was obvious she was gonna… Continue reading 10 Years a Slave

Back in the Game

Treasury Place - Melbourne

This time last year I was looking out of my Canary Wharf window thinking: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller It’s good advice, but after 277 "days off" it was time to put some bunce back in the old… Continue reading Back in the Game